kaddie:

rockbusted:

catsuggest:

scarhaver:

it’s so fucked up when you see something you KNOW is a portal to somewhere but you can’t figure out how to activate it. this is the most frustrating feeling that plagues modern man.

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

jewishbookwyrm:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

myrddraaleatsyellowsnow:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

for whatever reason, you suddenly gain godlike powers of control over the universe. what’s the first thing you do?

i straight up get rid of carbon. 

carbon the chemical element upon which all lifeforms are based?

That’s the bitch

well mood

imoverallofit:

He cookin

geodude:

boycott-the-sun:

geodude:

ace-pervert:

flowerbirb:

raejin99:

slbtumblng:

carnival-phantasm:

Every apex predator, looking at a capybara chilling: “…nah, I can’t eat this dude, that would be fucked up”

I googled to see if they taste bad to animals and

Ecuuuuuuuuussssssseeeeee me. People are an abomination.

South americans also eat guinea pig.. it is for these reasons that I suggest the civilised world unites in conquering and education that most the festering abomination that is South America

Look at these racist asses 🤷🏽‍♂️😅.

Wow, y'all really don’t have brains- just central nervous systems that tell you to get offended at a lighthearted comment about how a friend shaped animal someone didn’t know was a common food was found out to be one.

Buddy… They called South America a festering abomination and said the “civilized world needs to conquer” us. Like ya Pilgrims are wild 🤷🏽‍♂️

quinintheclouds:

sandersstudies:

I really want a villain who is a “MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS!” person facing a hero who is a “one black coffee” person.

*Ahem*

Originally posted by travelerfromthemultiverse

heywriters:

mbrainspaz:

mbrainspaz:

mbrainspaz:

talking to my dad is a freaking minefield. Today at dinner I asked him if he’d ever been to New York City in the 90′s and he was like, “nope. Only in the 70′s to donate blood for my mom in the hospital while she was dying from leukemia.” I swear I didn’t even know my grandmother had leukemia (may she rest in peace). This is worse than the time I asked him if he’d ever had riding lessons and he said, “not since my childhood lesson pony burned to death in a barn fire in Kentucky.”

he just did it again! I was making small talk while we were carrying in the groceries like, “yeah I have a taser in my purse but I’ve never gotten to use it,” and he goes, “I’ve been tasered before it’s not fun. Neither was waterboarding.” 

wtf dad

latest edition: 

me: I found a bottle of vic’s vapo rub in the cabinet that expired in 2002 but it was fine. 

my dad: Oh I don’t touch that stuff but guys I worked with used it to mask the smell of bodies that’d been dead for a while. 

is your dad an ex-assassin

thedouble2013:

moodboard

antihelix:

twerkcircus:

meanplastic:

Me practicing this housewife thing for when I drop out of uni

Hey so I just feel the need to add this. NEVER deep fry in a shallow pot. What happened here is this person put frozen fries in hot oil, and the hot oil will nearly double in size when you drop something cold in it. Then it overflows out of the pot and you have a grease fire. You should never have oil more than about a third of the way up the pot.

Reblogging because even I didn’t officially know this.

supreme-leader-stoat:

libertarirynn:

impuretale:

sinningsleepingandshitposting:

flotorshi:

Neatly summarized as: people not knowing how to properly take care of cats

The episodes that don’t conform to this formula are also always the most interesting. These situations include:

1) I Didn’t Know My Cat Had PTSD and Has Gone Blind.

2) Your Cats Fight Because One of Them Doesn’t Know How to Speak Cat, and They’re Both Kinda Mad/Confused About It. 

3) Your Cat Sprays Everywhere? Get Them Fixed. Surprise Twist: They Were Fixed But It Was a Botched Operation.

4) We’re Going to Rescue 50+ Kittens, Take Them to Vegas, and Adopt Them All To Loving Homes.

5) This is Not a Cat. This is a Dog. 

Hang on what was number five?

A Dog.

haggord:

haggord:

haggord:

old peter: do you know memes, miles morales? do you know spider-man memes?

miles strikes back